Don’t underestimate the power of women connecting and supporting each other at work. As my experiences from being a junior specialist to a managing director of my own business have taught me, conversations between women have massive benefits for the individual and the organisation. When I graduated college in the 1990s, I believed that women would quickly achieve parity at all levels of professional life now that we had “arrived” — I viewed the lack of women at the top a “pipeline” problem AND a cultural one. But the support I expected to find from female colleagues — the feeling of sisterhood in this mission — rarely survived first contact within the workplace.

I mentioned this story in one of my previous articles but it is worth mentioning again. When working as a junior in one of the largest multinational organisations, I kept asking the only woman senior to me to go to lunch or for a coffee, until finally, she told me, “Look, I honestly don’t have the time to be anybody’s mentor here. Plus we are at a different hierarchical level so you and I are not going to be friends.” Unfortunately, she was acting rationally. Senior-level women who champion younger women even today are more likely to get negative performance reviews, according to a 2016 study in The Academy of Management Journal.

My colleague’s behaviour has a (misogynistic) academic name: the “Queen Bee” phenomenon. Some senior-level women distance themselves from junior women, to be more accepted by their male peers. Especially in this part of the world (Middle East). As a study published in The Leadership Quarterly concludes, this is a response to inequality at the top, not the cause. Trying to separate oneself from a marginalised group is, sadly, a strategy that’s frequently employed. It’s easy to believe that there’s limited space for people who look like you at the top when you can see it with your own eyes.

By contrast, men are 46% more likely to have a higher-ranking advocate in the office, according to economist Sylvia Ann Hewlett. This makes an increasing difference in representation as you go up the org chart. According to a 2018 McKinsey report, Women in the Workplace, white men make up 36% of entry-level corporate jobs, and white women make up 31%. But at the very first rung above that, those numbers change to 47% for white men and 26% for white women — a 16% drop. For women of colour, the drop from 17% to 11% is a plunge of 35%. People tend to think that whatever conditions exist now are “normal.” Maybe this (charitably) explains men’s blind spots: at companies where only one in ten senior leaders are women, says McKinsey, nearly 50% of men felt women were “well represented” in leadership.

Worse than being snubbed and not supported by the woman above me was the lack of communication between women at my level. Of more than 50 specialists in my rank, maybe 10 were women. All of us were in different functions. I made many attempts to unitise us but was shocked and surprised to learn that not many in fact had the willingness to contribute to the cause. In many events, I witnessed the competitiveness in the group although our objective of having such group was far beyond showing off and compete, It was purely supported and learn from one another. This resulted in quite a toxic environment which I had to eventually quit from.

Of course, there are a host of reasons for these behaviours but the point of my article is not to debate the contributing factors – it’s to ask the question, “What can we do about it?”

Research shows that we’re penalised for trying to lift each other up. The antidote to being penalised for sponsoring women may just be to do it more — and to do it vocally, loudly, and proudly — until we’re able to change perceptions. There are massive benefits for the individual and the organisation when women support each other. The advantages of sponsorship may be clear, such as access to opportunities, events and education, having their achievements brought to the attention of senior management, becoming known as cultivators of talent and as leaders. Importantly, organisations that welcome such sponsorship benefits create a culture of support, and where talent is recognised and rewarded for all employees.

In my personal opinion, the resolution will have to come from senior women leaders in the workplace. Having an assigned senior leader to act as a mentor to others. One who wants to be aware of what is going on with the women in the workplace? What are their challenges? To host women-only lunches and created open channels of communication. To make it a point to reach out to each woman who joins the firm with an open door policy, sharing advice and personal experiences, including how to say no to doing traditionally gendered (and uncompensated) tasks like getting coffee or taking care of the office environment. To personal assistants, who might find some of those tasks unavoidable, to emphasise that they could talk to her about any issues in the workplace, that their roles were critical, and that they should be treated with respect. These lunches can provide a dedicated space to share challenges and successes. Coming together as a group makes people realise that their problems aren’t just specific to them, but in fact, were collective obstacles. All of this will vastly improve the flow of information, and relieving tension and anxiety. It reassures them that though their jobs were challenging, they were not alone. In doing so, it will lower the attrition rate of women working at the company — rates that are, across all corporate jobs, stubbornly higher for women than men, especially women of the minority.

But there’s still so much work that needs to be done. I’m thrilled by the rise of women’s organisations and professional network of women supporting each other across companies to change the culture of business at large. These are wonderful supplements, but they can’t replace the benefits of and the necessity for connections among women inside a company — at and across all levels. It reduces the feeling of competition for an imaginary quota at the top. It helps other women realise, “Oh, it’s not just me” — a revelation that can change the course of a women’s career. It’s also an indispensable way of identifying bad actors and systemic problems within the company. It need not be a massive program, doesn’t need overthinking or huge investment — in fact, it can just start by employing/ having ONE knowledgable supportive and adequate senior woman leader dedicated to this task. I’m confident that organisations will find that the return on investment on the cost of a group lunch will be staggering comparing to the retention of female staff.

I firmly believe that women supporting women is the fastest path to equality – there are a lot of us on this planet. And if we take the time to give each other a boost, there’s no limit to how high we can fly.

If you would like to find out more about how we can help to promote a culture of fairness and equality in your workplace, simply schedule a complimentary one-hour consulting session with us! To make a booking email info@prime-inst.com.